me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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