Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
