She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
