i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
3pm strippers are depressing
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
