you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
