In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's shark week go big or go home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
