We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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