One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
