Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
