Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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