I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
