I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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