Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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