Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
