The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
