for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
