Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
