his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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