Porn is love you can see.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
