Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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