just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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