Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
