I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
