Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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