Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
