his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
