she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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