Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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