is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
