I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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