dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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