im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
