so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
