I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can text with my tongue
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
