I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
