is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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