I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
