I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
