I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
