We won't sleep together?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
