Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My vagina just clenched in fear
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
