You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
