very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
