if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
