i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
