Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
