All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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