I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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