I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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