his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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