Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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