I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Small penises have feelings too.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
