K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
