Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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