Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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