C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
