The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
