i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
