yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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