you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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