you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I use my feet as sexual weapons
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
