At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
